Episode IV: Getting Scared on a Hayride

There are a bunch of people around you and you can take comfort in the knowledge that no matter what happens, you are not alone. After you scan your bracelet you are directed to a chain link cage in which you along with many others are packed in. You definitely get comfortable with your neighbors, those standing right beside you. You all look around at each other with excited horror.

Your tractor pulls up and the gate to the chain link cage is opened as you are now told to climb on board, but you don’t get to sit until everyone is in with you. You get as comfortable as you can manage sitting in poking straw, it’s just enough discomfort to keep you on edge. That’s when the workers pull on the strings and you along with everyone else are covered under a black canopy. You don’t see anything as the tractor pulls away, but to where?

You hear noises, you know they are just out there beyond the fabric and suddenly the fabric is gone and you have entered their world. You are there watching the horror unfold and you can’t leave. This truly is one of the best Halloween events and it’s in Los Angeles.

I’m talking of course of Los Angeles Haunted Hayride. It is one of my favorite things to do in October and I will probably make a habit of returning each year for as long as it runs. I’m not going to lie, it is probably one of the more expensive events in LA, but I feel that you get exactly what you pay for which is four attractions, three of which are amazing! A horse skeleton carousel, the photo area where you get to take amazing pics of yourself being tortured, and the Theater Macabre where they have audience members reenact scenes from your favorite scary films.

How the tickets work is you can decide to pay for just the Hayride or all of the attractions. I always go full out as I enjoy each attraction. You also have the option of getting VIP which allows you fast pass access to each attraction. I have yet to see the need for the VIP, but I’m hoping that this place gets a little more popular as I feel it is truly one of the best around.

The first stop for me and my friend was the House of Shadows. Similar to a maze and an escape room rolled into one. As you enter into each room the doors are shut behind you and in order for the next door to open you have to follow the instructions. The longer you take the longer the monsters in each room have to play with you, so don’t take too long.

After goofing around in the photo op area and watching a bit of the show from the Theater Macabre our other friend arrives.

We headed for the line for the Hayride itself. This is going to have one of the two longest lines at the event, but it is worth it. We came on a Saturday and I’d say that the line wasn’t any more than 45 minutes, which isn’t bad. Last year the line was a little over an hour and it was a week night. In all fairness I think we went closer to Halloween last year.

I’ve always said that the hayride is definitely more of a horror production than anything else and it really does not disappoint. This year’s theme was the real life Boogyman, well known serial killers, from H.H. Holmes to the Zodiac Killer to Jack the Ripper. They all came out and chased our tractor and it was fantastic. The hayride takes about 20 – 25 minutes to get through and you really don’t mind as you are entertained throughout. Just be sure to follow the rules that they have so that everyone enjoys the experience. One lame person can ruin it for you very easily.

From the Hayride, we head to the Dark Maze. Now this is what scares me to death every year.  The maze is dark, I mean pitch black no light what so ever and it’s a legitimate maze, you have to figure out how to find the exit. Last year you went in with a group of about 10-15 people and one person was given a lantern; this was your only light source. I screamed the whole way through, but I loved it.

Well this year, there was no group, there was no lantern, and instead they told everyone that we had the option of wearing a scary clown mask yourself before entering; thus ensuring that we never knew who exactly the monsters were. My friends wanted us all to separate, I wasn’t a fan of this idea, but if I wanted to go in I had no other choice. I grabbed a mask and took the plunge.

My strategy was simple, find normal looking people and follow them and it worked. I got to see every part of the maze this way and was able to find the exit in a safe amount of time. Honestly, I wasn’t as scared of the maze as I had been last year. I even had fun hearing my friend scream in the distance of the maze.

The last piece of the event was the attraction called Trick or Treat. This is probably the most boring of the attractions and can really be skipped if you would prefer. I simply went through because I wanted to do each attraction, because that’s just how I am. It was a series of going door to door and saying trick or treat as something presumably scary would come out at you. Not all that scary if you’re like me and need a bit more than that to illicit a scare, but it was still fun.

I can’t stress enough how much I enjoy going to this event and will more than likely make a point of returning each year. I truly feel that it is worth it and you should too.

Hayride Only (limited number): $30

General Admission (All Attractions): $43

VIP Admission (Front of the line/All Attractions): $59

Parking is free, but it can be a bit of bitch as it’s located in Griffith Park. Recommend getting there early to score a decent spot.