Episode IV: Getting Scared on a Hayride

There are a bunch of people around you and you can take comfort in the knowledge that no matter what happens, you are not alone. After you scan your bracelet you are directed to a chain link cage in which you along with many others are packed in. You definitely get comfortable with your neighbors, those standing right beside you. You all look around at each other with excited horror.

Your tractor pulls up and the gate to the chain link cage is opened as you are now told to climb on board, but you don’t get to sit until everyone is in with you. You get as comfortable as you can manage sitting in poking straw, it’s just enough discomfort to keep you on edge. That’s when the workers pull on the strings and you along with everyone else are covered under a black canopy. You don’t see anything as the tractor pulls away, but to where?

You hear noises, you know they are just out there beyond the fabric and suddenly the fabric is gone and you have entered their world. You are there watching the horror unfold and you can’t leave. This truly is one of the best Halloween events and it’s in Los Angeles.

I’m talking of course of Los Angeles Haunted Hayride. It is one of my favorite things to do in October and I will probably make a habit of returning each year for as long as it runs. I’m not going to lie, it is probably one of the more expensive events in LA, but I feel that you get exactly what you pay for which is four attractions, three of which are amazing! A horse skeleton carousel, the photo area where you get to take amazing pics of yourself being tortured, and the Theater Macabre where they have audience members reenact scenes from your favorite scary films.

How the tickets work is you can decide to pay for just the Hayride or all of the attractions. I always go full out as I enjoy each attraction. You also have the option of getting VIP which allows you fast pass access to each attraction. I have yet to see the need for the VIP, but I’m hoping that this place gets a little more popular as I feel it is truly one of the best around.

The first stop for me and my friend was the House of Shadows. Similar to a maze and an escape room rolled into one. As you enter into each room the doors are shut behind you and in order for the next door to open you have to follow the instructions. The longer you take the longer the monsters in each room have to play with you, so don’t take too long.

After goofing around in the photo op area and watching a bit of the show from the Theater Macabre our other friend arrives.

We headed for the line for the Hayride itself. This is going to have one of the two longest lines at the event, but it is worth it. We came on a Saturday and I’d say that the line wasn’t any more than 45 minutes, which isn’t bad. Last year the line was a little over an hour and it was a week night. In all fairness I think we went closer to Halloween last year.

I’ve always said that the hayride is definitely more of a horror production than anything else and it really does not disappoint. This year’s theme was the real life Boogyman, well known serial killers, from H.H. Holmes to the Zodiac Killer to Jack the Ripper. They all came out and chased our tractor and it was fantastic. The hayride takes about 20 – 25 minutes to get through and you really don’t mind as you are entertained throughout. Just be sure to follow the rules that they have so that everyone enjoys the experience. One lame person can ruin it for you very easily.

From the Hayride, we head to the Dark Maze. Now this is what scares me to death every year.  The maze is dark, I mean pitch black no light what so ever and it’s a legitimate maze, you have to figure out how to find the exit. Last year you went in with a group of about 10-15 people and one person was given a lantern; this was your only light source. I screamed the whole way through, but I loved it.

Well this year, there was no group, there was no lantern, and instead they told everyone that we had the option of wearing a scary clown mask yourself before entering; thus ensuring that we never knew who exactly the monsters were. My friends wanted us all to separate, I wasn’t a fan of this idea, but if I wanted to go in I had no other choice. I grabbed a mask and took the plunge.

My strategy was simple, find normal looking people and follow them and it worked. I got to see every part of the maze this way and was able to find the exit in a safe amount of time. Honestly, I wasn’t as scared of the maze as I had been last year. I even had fun hearing my friend scream in the distance of the maze.

The last piece of the event was the attraction called Trick or Treat. This is probably the most boring of the attractions and can really be skipped if you would prefer. I simply went through because I wanted to do each attraction, because that’s just how I am. It was a series of going door to door and saying trick or treat as something presumably scary would come out at you. Not all that scary if you’re like me and need a bit more than that to illicit a scare, but it was still fun.

I can’t stress enough how much I enjoy going to this event and will more than likely make a point of returning each year. I truly feel that it is worth it and you should too.

Hayride Only (limited number): $30

General Admission (All Attractions): $43

VIP Admission (Front of the line/All Attractions): $59

Parking is free, but it can be a bit of bitch as it’s located in Griffith Park. Recommend getting there early to score a decent spot.

Episode III: October Scares On A Ship

I believe that most things are better experienced at night and I especially believe this during the month of October.  Truly, the only reason I wander in daylight at all is to make an appearance at my day job. But at night, oh the night; it’s when amazing things can happen.

You’ll find me most nights in October at haunted mazes throughout Southern California.  I have my favorites and I have the ones that I go to purely out of friendship obligations, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a good time at all of them. And each one has their own appeal that makes them enjoyable.

I kicked off my 2015 maze season with an excursion to Queen Mary's Dark Harbor in Long Beach, California. It runs from October 1^st through November 1^st from 8:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m.

I had only gone once before two years ago. I remember that it was good that first time I went and I had a blast with my friends. Was it one of my favorites? Not really. Did it scare me? Meh. I remember mostly scaring myself that night (that actually happens a lot at these things). It was a case of making a wrong turn on the ship and ending up in a completely dark hallway. That was really scary!

I do believe that if you venture out to Long Beach and go to Dark Harbor the mazes worth going through are the ones located on the ship itself.  Usually there are about 3 and if you get there late (like I usually do) you probably will only have time for 1, maybe 2 of them.

You see, despite my lack of interest in this particular set of mazes, a lot and I do mean A LOT of people come out for this. It will be packed and you will wait in line for mazes between 30 minutes to an hour. There really is no getting around that aside from buying the Fast Fright Pass which gives you priority to enter the mazes. Think Fast Pass at Disneyland, but for Halloween mazes.

They have separate lines for Fast Fright Pass holders and when I was there it appeared that those lines would take you 20 minutes tops to get to the front of the maze. If you really want to hit every maze this is truthfully your best option.

Another thing to keep in mind is that there aren’t many “street” performers. Meaning, most of the monsters are in the mazes. Don’t expect to be scared much outside of the mazes.  I will say that they do try in this regard, but it’s still pretty weak when you compare it to the all-time scare park, Knott's Scary Farm. In reality though, most other places can’t compare to the street performers at Knott’s.

Aside from the mazes you could check out the Freak Show. This does cost extra, which is why I’ve avoided it the 2 times I have gone, although I do hear it’s not that bad. So again, if you feel the need for a little freak you can spend a little extra and enjoy a show.  I guess I also don’t worry too much about this aspect of Dark Harbor because of how little time is allotted to get through all of the mazes, especially with how long the lines are. It really does present a quandary.

I find the allotted hours of 8:00p.m. – 12:00a.m. to get through all of the mazes is a bit of an insult when you count how many people arrive for this event. I would give it the limited time in its early years, but as its popularity has grown so too should its hours of operation. I realize that I might be being too harsh, but these are my opinions and they are coming from someone who makes a point of enjoying these hauntful events every October.

I would say that it is still fun to visit, just not on my top priority list if there are other options.

General Admission: Starts at $24

VIP Admission – For Guests 21 and older: $94

Fast Fright Pass: About an additional $29 on top of your admission ticket

Parking - General: $20 - VIP $30

Episode II: The Artistry of Horror

Darkness looms and the scary emerge as Halloween creeps ever closer.  We are already deep into the Halloween season with many a frightful activities have been underway for some time. As for myself, I like to start as early as possible and this year was no exception.

The first stop was the opening night of Freaks: An Exhibition of Artworks by Clive Barker and Gail Potocki. Opening nights are the best, because you get to be among those that experience first and more often than not, the night’s festivities are free.

In a word, chilling.

Along with the artwork, the space offered its own dark ambiance. Though it was small it offered a lot, to the creepy hallway you walked down upon first entering, to the tiny dining room set up towards the back complete with an eerie chandelier hanging above you. And the artwork filling every crevice in between.

The pieces have a way of entering your mind and taking through a journey to a completely different world, a different dimension even. I’m not going to lie though, I loved all of them, and I even wish I could have afforded to purchase a few of them. Future purchases for sure.

After the mist that was Clive Barker, it was nice a few weeks later to come up to the murky surface at The Last Bookstore, or as it was called that night the Last Spook Store: A Horror Story Art Show.

A collection of classic horror novels such as Shelley’s Frankenstein, King’s Pennywise the Clown, Lovecraft’s Nyarlathotep, and many more are captured by 31 artists into 31 original pieces of art. Again, it was opening night and this was definitely a popular event.  It wasn’t shocking as most events at this location are very popular.

There was a line down the street when the doors opened and I decided after seeing that to grab some food to kill time waiting for the line to die down. It was Carl’s Jr. because I was so hungry and it was the closest thing walking distance from the store. It was awful, but my hunger did not care.

By the time I got back everyone else was already inside and I mean EVERYONE. It was so packed, but not in an overbearing way. Well, the body heat wasn’t fun, but other than that, totally fine. The space can handle big crowds, which is incredible; however, it could be the use of a second floor.

There was a bar available, in which I did not partake, more due to my lack of timing (I wanted to check out everything else, alcohol could wait) A stage was set with a band already in full swing, in full female Ghostbuster’s gear and they put on a show.  

I never thought I would see a mosh pit in the middle of a bookstore and now I can put that on my list of experiences. Honestly though they were lucky that the shelves were on wheels and just kind of rolled out of their way. And of course, no Ghostbuster’s show is complete without an appearance from the State Puff Marshmallow Man. Thankfully, it didn’t get messy.

As the show continued, I wandered upstairs, viewing the amazing artwork along the way and it was more than just paintings. It really can best be described as everything was art and it was glorious. And to top it all was the Labyrinth of books which I have dreamed about seeing and now I finally got to walk through it. It was like entering a meta version of your book dreams, at least that’s how it was for me.

Continuing along the other wall were more artists selling their wears and willing to enter engaging conversations about their pieces. From the beautifully classic, to the utterly bizarre, you really could find a piece of art for anyone in here.

One of the pieces that I particularly got a kick out of was this.

If you don’t know why I love it, then you never will.

When the time came everyone reluctantly left the store and submerged themselves back into the dirty Los Angeles streets. As for me, I eventually found my way to some alcohol along with two of my friends who made the nights adventures that much more worthwhile.

Both nights were great and it makes me want to reach out and explore more of the artistry that the Los Angeles area has to offer. Or it could be that this truly is my favorite subject matter and I simply want to see more artwork like what was displayed. I know I will forever be a horror buff and the fact that I enjoyed every second I gazed upon those unique works, proves that it will most definitely never go away.  And that is fine by me.

Until the spiteful spirits come knocking again.